Goals and Debt

If I had a nickle for every clearly defined and stable goal I had for myself, I'd be in debt. The truth is that, after four years of college and four attempted majors, I still have no idea what I want to do. When I came into the TCF program I had no aspirations to make films, although it is something I have considered in a broad, vague sense since joining the program. I do have strong opinions and feelings about certain social issues and I feel that maybe I might possibly someday like to make a film about those issues. Someday. Maybe. In the mean time though, my goal is to work somewhere in sports media, particularly in baseball. I love baseball and I like to travel, so I would love to have a job that involves being immersed in baseball and traveling with a team.

That being said, my goals for this course are more about learning the technical aspects of operating in the media industry. How to shoot, how to handle equipment, how to set up, and other things of that sort. What I really hope to gain from this course, if nothing else, is a sense of confidence when it comes to the technical aspects of the media industry. I also wouldn't mind working as a crew member on other people's projects, so having technical skills would be essential in that case as well. And it's not like I'm completely adverse to being a filmmaker. I have stories I'd like to tell and opinions I'd like to put out there, I've just never considered film as the medium for either.

So I guess those are my goals for not only this course, but my life/career in general. Although, as much as I love baseball (and I really love baseball.. it's hard for me to quantify how much I love baseball), I'm already having doubts about that career path and am, at least in the back of my mind, considering something else entirely. Like graduate school and a career in academia or maybe even law school and a career in politics and a more active role in changing/affecting those social issues that I feel strongly about. I don't know how practical that last option is at this point, but it is something I have considered as I enjoy politics. I actually hate politics, but I think that's why I enjoy them, for the prospect of changing them. Maybe that's a little too ambitious and farfetched at this point of my academic life (I can't afford to go to school forever), but I'm going to just hit the Publish button to stop myself from rambling even more than I already have.

Images

If I have ever been moved by an image, it is usually from images of "creepy" places such as this one. The hallway is completely dark except for light coming in from doorways to the side and at the end. To me, this creates a sense of apprehension or dread as if something terrifying could suddenly appear through or walk by one of the doorways.


Unlike the previous image where it was the light coming in from the doors, in this image it is the darkness at the bottom of the stairs that evokes feelings of paranoia. The light coming in from above the stairs is funneled into blackness at the bottom, and it feels as if something could emerge from that blackness at any moment.


I also like images like this one that convey the idea of a deranged mind (which is why The Joker is one of my favorite villains of all time). This image of a room with sharp angles and abstract shapes conjures the image of a mind with a severely distorted perception of reality. The flat lighting and almost angry images on the walls add to this effect.



The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari is an example of this style in cinema. An Expressionist film, the sets built for it featured a number of irregular and distorted buildings and plants which were designed to give the impression of an insane mind's take on reality. These irregular sets created irregular shadows when lit, which served to deepen the effect.

You Never Know

So this is my blog for TCF 312 - Advanced Videography. This is also my first ever blog as I've never really been all that expressive about myself, nor do I consider myself terribly creative and it's highly possible I'm in the wrong place altogether here in TCF 312. Though hopefully this class will serve to at least help me make contact with any creativity I may have, if not turn me into a full on creative genius. If all else fails, I should at least leave the class with some technical skills that I can use to help someone else realize their creative dream.

As for this blog, my personal hope is that it and the assignments posted will help me to fully grasp and organize any creative thoughts I may have. It may turn out that I have way more than I realized. As it stands, most creative thoughts I have are centered around music (hence the name of the blog, which any casual fan of jazz should be able to recognize) and how I wish I could play the piano. Other than that, it's mostly baseball and school, neither of which are all that "creative."

Still, there's a long way to go and anything is possible at this point. Although I never envisioned it (and highly doubt it), maybe I'll be responsible for the next great piece of American cinema. You never know.